Over the weekend a friend of a friend of a friend got stalked. Using just the information on their blog, a stalker was able to find out where the father graduated from college, where he worked, what his full name was, what her full name was, what the names and ages of their children and dog were and what the dog and kids liked to do. This information was ALL on the blog.
Through my work with criminals in both 12-step programs and in the Idaho drug court I know that there are sexual predators on the internet and not just on myspace. They are looking to do harm to your kids and to you. When they stumble across a blog like this one, it is like sitting at a buffet table. This blog had pictures of all of the kids and little bios of those kids. Therefore, when a criminal went to their house they would be able to talk to the kids about what they like and dislike. I successfully convinced the publishers of this blog to shut down their website. I fear for the safety of those kids knowing the people I have worked with in my lifetime.
I feel it is important to take some time tonight, though, and discuss ways to avoid getting your kids killed through your own stupidity.
1st I'd like to remind you that the easiest way to not get stalked on the internet is to not be on the internet. No one forces you to have a blog or to publish. I have 6 (soon to be 7) friends serving missions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. They aren't allowed access to blogs, facebook, myspace, or most other types of internet. They are allowed to e-mail their parents once a week. Everyone else they communicate with through the United States Postal Service. My friends do just fine communicating to people and sharing stories with this very limited access.
You don't need a blog.
The 2nd best way to keep yourself safe is to make your blog password protected. Google and Live Journal both have a "friends only" option. Google is not responsible for what you publish, but in an attempt to let you publish and still be some what secure they do offer this ability to block people. This is your second best option, best if you can't live with using the Post Office.
The third option is to have a public blog but limit what you say. For example, the family that got stalked over the weekend had a blog URL that resembled SimpsonsFamily.blogspot.com. The title was "The Simpsons." On the left side was a picture of each of their children and a short bio. For example it said:
Lisa, 8 1/2. Lisa is really into working with the environment and playing the Saxophone. She will talk to anyone she meets about the saxophone.
Bart, 7. Bart is really a mischievous child but we love him. He's in to skateboarding and slingshots. He wishes his dad made more money so that he could buy a huge skatepark for the back yard.
This is way more information about your kids than you want anyone knowing. The blogs here are seen around the world. Anyone can access your blog. Even if you ask blogger not to post your blog on their list of search able blogs, one of your friends probably forgot to not list theirs and they are linked to you. So much for not being listed. Keep such information to yourself.
Some pointers:
- Never use your last name on your blog. There are a million Seans out there. There are only a few Sean Simpsons living in Salmon Idaho. Don't use your last name in your url, your blog or even in your comments.
- Screen your comments. I have a relative that occasionally slips and types my last name when she is making a comment. By screening her comments I'm able to edit what she says and prevent people from knowing who I am.
- Don't name your company, especially if it is a small company. I used to work for a small manufacturing company in Oregon. They had 8 employees. By mentioning where I worked, it was real easy to find me.
- If at all possible - use a nickname when publishing. And example of this is that on my blog I often talk about a girl named KNJ. KNJ could stand for all sorts of things (i.e kind naughty javelthrower.), but no one really knows what it means except her and two other people that read this blog. I have a friend that uses a single letter when he talks about the kids in the in-law family. I'm not even sure the letters correspond to the kids, now that I think about it.
- If you are not going to password protect, blogs should really only be used for general stories and untraceable items (for example, telling stories about a time in your life where you were fat and wore white pants is fine. Telling times about when you grew up in Cody Wyoming just past the old barn on 3rd street and how your parents still live there today with your hot sister, probably not something you should be sharing.)
- When sharing pictures, first make sure everyone in the picture agrees to have it published. My father doesn't like pictures of him on the internet, so I have only published one and it was with him wearing a bike helmet, sunglasses and a windbreaker. If I didn't know better I wouldn't have even known it was my father. I published a picture of KNJ one time and she was really pissed. Even though I took the picture and had the rights to it, as the person in the picture she had rights as well and could sue me. (needless to say it came down.) Lastly, don't publish a picture of an envelope with your address or the address of anyone else on it. It's not nice to get your friends' kids kidnapped or raped, so don't publish their address.
- The last thing I can think of is to read your blog over once a month and see if you could tract yourself. If you can, change your blog immeadiately. Also might I suggest googling yourself every month or so. If you are a girl - google your married and maiden name.
For those in the Mormon church, we have been warned about what type of internet we bring into our homes and whether it is uplifting or detrimental to our spiritual lives. I think the same should be said for what you put out of your home on the internet. I obviously love blogging and love blogger, but in todays day and age, protecting our children from those that would seek to do harm is more important that sharing a picture of famous Mormon people or to bragging about catching a baseball at a A's game.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog full of stories of Sean and his gardening experiences.
