Thursday, February 4, 2010

the trouble with eating a meatball sandwich

I had a gift certificate to Lumpy's that I was saving for today. Today's special is the Meatball Sandwich. This sandwich is tied for first as my favorite thing to get at Lumpy's (it's tied with the Meatloaf) (Second would be the Garlic Caesar Salad Sandwich, third the Bacon Cheeseburger Sandwich with fourth rounded out by Lumpy Stub). The Meatball Sandwich has a foundation on of a hogie roll, with two, three or four meatballs thrown on followed by a healthy helping of spaghetti noodles that are covered in sauce and smothered in cheese. When it arrives I am always in a quandary of how to proceed to maximize the parts of the meal. Before I get to the heart of this post, let me start out by saying that I eat meals in departmentalized way. For instance, if I'm at McDonald's, I eat my sandwich first then my fries. At Olive Garden, I eat my salad and soup then my main course - I do not keep the salad or soup on the table because I'm done with it. After the main course I eat my bread sticks and use them to clean the plate.

Do you see where I'm going with this? Let me further explain that for the most part, Lumpy's allows me to do exactly this. When I get the meatloaf, with each slice of my fork or knife, I can take in the bread, meat and gravy. Then I can go after the mash potatoes. With the Bacon Cheeseburger, I can take in a mouthful and chomp and chew from every member of the sandwich at one time.

However, the meatball sandwich presents a problem. With one slice of the knife or one mouth full of the sandwich - you could be not getting all of that the sandwich has to offer. The meatball ratio compared to the rest of the sandwich is drastically different. You can go several bites without getting any morsel of meatball. It's almost like you are eating two different sandwiches. One is a spaghetti sandwich and one is a meatball spaghetti sandwich. Two sandwiches at once is not very compartmentalized.

I have been searching my brain for solutions. I can only come up with three:
1. smash the meatballs up into little pieces and scatter them around the plate hoping to cover the whole sandwich.
2. pull the meatballs out and have them after the rest of the sandwich - sort of like a dessert of rolled beef.
3. Stop ordering the meatball sandwich.

Do you have any additional insights?


  1. I think if it's causing you this much stress, you'd better stop ordering it!

  2. Cut the meatballs in half, spread the halves evenly across the sandwich, giving you meatball in every bite.

  3. Get a battery powered blender, take it with you, insert sandwich. Put on Frappe... pour out your sandwich and drink the stuff... check your carbs and take the meds.