(A grove near my office that in theory I could come read my book during my lunch)
On Sunday I met with my bishop and had a rather strange experience happen. He ended my church discipline and restored my priesthood. For the first time since February 2007, on Sunday I can take the sacrament. I'm humbled by this course change in my life. For the first time in a long time, I have felt deeply loved by my Heavenly Father. The words I have sought for from my Heavenly Father were delivered in my Bishops voice. No one could know that those were the words I was praying for because I rarely pray out loud. Usually, my time talking to God is done as I drive my truck to or from work. But as I sat in my bishop's Fairfield, the words I have pleaded for came to me. Then the words I hadn't quite asked for came to me. We discussed my on again off again relationship with Amy. He asked why we broke up this time and I told him it came down to her desire to remain a free spirit and be spontaneous and my craving for structure including planned activities and planned dates. The next words out of my bishop's mouth were "Opposites attract." He mentioned that he is a planner and his wife is not. He said that it was something that he and her just had to get over. So all day long today that's been on my mind. Do opposites really attract?
In a recent post I talked about the qualities of girlfriend's past. Today involved more thinking about past girlfriends. I wonder if maybe I'm doing this dating thing wrong. I wonder if my approach to Amy was founded wrong. I wonder if I am looking for "the perfect girl" and ignoring that there are some near perfect girls out there. I thought I had perfection with KNJ, and yet, now, 6 years later, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather not be married to as what she does with her life now. I look at Mahon and Cindy (99% of my understanding of them is through the internet so I may not see the whole picture) and they seem "perfect" for each other. I never get the feeling that they were opposites that chose to forgo a quality they wanted in a spouse. I look at my own parents. My father was catholic and my mother was Mormon. She was a nurse and my father faints at the sight of vomit. My father was in into technology and my mother still sent snail mail letters up to the month she died. Yet for 32 years they made and amazing life together full of trips, vacations, children, struggles and joys. In just the last 10 years of her life, my mother had over 20 surgeries and she came to from those surgeries with a man who helped build ramps so she could get in and out of the house; he set up her flowers on sprinkler systems so that her flowers would get watered while she was in the hospital. Did their opposites attract and create this life? Should I be looking for an opposite? Or should I be looking for for the girl I think would be perfect for me?
Today was a day of pondering. Thank goodness I have my new iTouch to listen to. As I strolled through the grove tonight on my way out to my truck, I pondered and listen to Hilary play this song.