Peon – Captain we are under attack!
Captain – Where?
Peon – In the throat. A patrol group first discovered red and white mines this morning and now we are getting reports of other occurrences.
Captain – Immediately deploy a battalion of whites and reds to the battlefront. I’ll see if I can get a message to Central Intelligence to bring in the Fly Fighters.
Peon – Right away Sir.
(a little later)
Captain – Peon what’s there to report?
Peon – The Battalions of White and Red are on their way. The Flyer Fighters have yet to arrive, but we have new a new problem.
Captain – What now?
Peon – The throat has received new damage. Overnight a group of their fighters flew in and laid a stretch of mucus just like pilots in Viet Nam with Napalm. The mucus is everywhere. It’s turning into a slippery situation.
Captain – Right. Get on the horn to CI and tell them we need immediate action. Have them send in bombers with Vitamin C and Sudafed. Have the White Cell Troop send up flares for drops and have them start dropping, Tell CI to get those bombers in there every four hours until I tell them otherwise.
Peon – Yes Sir. Right away Sir!
Captain – What is the status with the white and red celled troops?
Peon – They arrived late last night but they were fatigued. So they rested this morning and are on the attack. It is a hard battle. There seems to be a lot of cell to spot combat. The air war is helping but this is a hard fight.
Captain – Well give them time. Have them work in shifts so that no group gets too tired. And then -----
(All of a sudden the grown beneath them begins to shake and they hear the noise of a wounded duck quack.)
Captain – Oh crap! A Cough! A cough! We are in trouble now. Ignore everything else. Get ahold of CI and get the cough syrup dispensing fighters in the air now. Now!!!
(Later)
Captain – Report?
Peon – We are taxing the carrier but we are getting much done. The Syrup Dispensers went on full alert a few hours ago and are flying hourly drops into the mouth and throat. Additionally, The bombers are making 4-hour rotating flights into the throat. Lastly, the Flyer Fighters are dropping soup and water whenever they can get a flight in (and not get in a mid air crash with the Bombers or the Dispensers). The white and Red cell troops are still battling it out on the ground level and are making process. The mucus is breaking up and our troops are getting a stronger hold. They are still running into the occasional mine and we have lost many, especially from the white celled troops. But we are seeing progress.
Captain – Good. Very Good. Keep me informed.
(A Voice comes over the PA)
This is the Central Intelligence. We are declaring Victory at this time. Good work to all our troops and air force. We fought a hard fight but we won and are better for it. We mourn those red and white celled troops that perished in the fight, but we will continue to live and go out as a way to honor their memory. A very much thank you to our Captain and his Peon. We have been victorious.
Conversations with my body in the first trimester of pregnancy
-
1. Body/morning sickness: Hey.
Katie: Oh, no.
B: HEY! Heeeyyyy, are we at Stake Conference? (a church meeting- this was
at a Saturday evening session)
...
1 year ago
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