Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Facts of Frank

Frank the flying firefighter flew fast to every fire. Frank flew fearlessly to fields of fire with never a frown on his face, unless it was foggy. When the firefighting was fought, Frank would stop for food. However Frank wasn’t a friend of healthy eating so instead he would feast on fried fast food. Fast food makes Frank fat, which made flying ferociously difficult. When Frank the flying fat firefighter wasn’t flying, he would be getting friendly with his four square dance group or his connect five Sequence group. Frank thought both were fun. He always had a fantastic time forming five dot sequences. On Friday, Frank picks up Fredalina in his Ferrari for a night of frights and fairies at the fair grounds haunted house. Because he can fly, Frank and Fredalina get in for free. Even though Fredalina is very flexible, Frank is very respectful of her and there will be no Frenching or mating. Fredalina is Frank’s biggest fan because he is so faithful to her. He brings her flowers and tells her she’s super fine (even though she thinks she could have a flatter fanny). Fredalina is fraught with fear that her flying boyfriend frank might one day have a fatal run in with a flock of foul. She fears he will quickly figure out that the laws of physics apply to even him as he is falling out of the sky the flat earth below. However Frank finds comfort in a fatal fall if it allows him to have a freaking awesome funeral like this one. That would be fabulous. Frank doesn’t feel his final feat is soon though. Or maybe it is – Look! A flock of forty-five flamingos. In February? What a freak of nature! Flapping feathers finished Frank.

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