Saturday, May 2, 2009

living today

I don't blog as much any more. There are words in my head but I'm not quite sure how to organize them or put them on paper. It's a frustrating process. However, today intrigued me. After going to the dump I returned home and did my chores, did some laundry and puttered around the house. At one point the 7 year-old came in with his playmate and asked his 13 year-old sister to come out and push them on the tire swing. She refused. She was watching a movie and couldn't be disturbed. The playmate pleaded and still there was no action on the 13 year-old's part. Then they approached me and I said it would be my honor. It took ten minutes to satisfy their desires and we were back inside.

My mother died when I was 24. For the last 10 years of her life she struggled with disabilities, illness, and an endless amount of pain. Every few months she would have the energy to leave the house and walk around the block. (On those special days I would carry a chair with us and if she got too tired I would set up the chair and she would sit while I went to go get the car.) As soon as she left a hospital her first request was to just go for a drive. If it was a warm day we would roll down the windows and cruise the streets of Fremont. The days rendering her bound to the house or to a hospital far out numbered the days riding in cars, but it was those days we talked about.

During the past week, my father got into an argument with one of my facebook friends. It wasn't pretty and it really wasn't needed. For the last 24 hours I've exchanged e-mails with my father about how my friends are bad people and how he is right. The whole thing, along with the 13 year-old today, just makes me sick.

On Thursday we got work that another one of my clients had died. That makes three in two weeks. I don't know how old or what was the cause of the first, but the second was 16 and died on an operating table. The one on thursday was 20 and just stopped breathing.

I am not sure how to teach this to others. "Yesterday is the past. Tomorrow is the future. Today is a gift from God. That's why it is called the present." The movie will wait but those ten minutes with your brother giggling with him and his playmate on the swing - those should be cherished. Saving the world from your percieved dangers and causing strife with your son can wait - when moments of love can be cherished.
In the county that I live in 5 schools have been shut down do to the Swine Flu Pandemic. I really doubt we will reach the pandemic stage, but what if we did - did we live today or did we waste the swing opportunities and the car rides on other pursuits? I hope we are living our days.

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