Wednesday, February 1, 2006

fun with breasts

I am liking (not lovin quite yet) my job at the meat department. I have no problems grinding up the beef or restocking the shelves or even handling the icky yucky fish. My least favorite job is deviding up the chicken breasts. Chicken boobs are together when they get to me. There is a small strip of fatty skin holding the two breasts together. My job is to firmly grasp each breast in my hands and pull them apart so that I have a chicken boob in each hand. Then I'm supposed to take the thick clingy fat off of the top and arrange the boobs in the tray in a pleasing manner (I always feel like a plastic surgeon when I do this. "Here are the Boobs for your viewing pleasure - telling me which one you want.") For the most part I deal with the teenage chicken boobs. Like the cheerleaders at my junior high school, the teenage chicken breasts are flat and small. It is very hard to get enough in my hand to pull apart. Usually I end up splitting one of the breasts in half so that I've got one and half chicken boob in one hand and half of another chicken boob in the other hand. I then have to try to arrange those portions in a tray and make them look atractive so that people will want to take them home (there is a another whole discussion on here about what makes for an atractive breast for eating, but today we will skip that.)

Today I got done with my grinding and restocking early so out came the chicken breasts to tray. Holy Cow! (not to mix animals) Todays Chickens were full adult chickens. Big boobs, solid fat, easy to tear. I imagine that these were the lookers. Roosters every where lined up to get a peck at these beauties. These Chicks walked around the barn yard strutting these boobs and showing them off. These ladies are the dumb chickens you see standing in cold water and wonder what they were thinking. These were big boobed chickens. I had no problems getting enough in my hands to tear. The fat was solid and came off easily. It took me a quarter of the time it took me with the junior high chickens. I didn't have to try to make them look fuller than they are, I just pulled them apart and layed them in the tray. Easy.

So todays lesson is life does not resemble work. While in life, I prefer different, at work I want my breasts as big as they can come.

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