Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The awkward month known as November (and a little bit of December)

First, the players:
Sean - me
Amy - Sean't current girlfriend
Nina - Sean's ex-girlfriend who he dated from July 2007 - December 2007, now Sean's best friend
KNJ-P - Sean's ex-girlfriend/ex-fiance (no ring, no proposal, but there was a date set and reception and honeymoon plans being made)
Tina - Sean's former freinds with benefits from Decmber 2007 - February 2008
Melinda - Sean's close personal friend who has been away on a mission for the past 17 1/2 months. Wants to marry Sean. Returns home December 15.
Jenny - Sean's ex-girlfriend who plays for a rival Power wheelchair soccer team.
NAN - Sean's Dad's girlfriend who Sean hasn't spent more than an hour with at a time
Dad - Sean's Dad for neary 31 years

I used to have a rule that I purposely dated women in different towns so that when we broke up, I didn't have to worry about running into them again. That plan worked rather well for several years until I joined the ranks of the Oakland Temple Hill Technical staff. Now, I can break up with a girl, and still run across her on The Hill or at Crew related events. Running across ex's can be a little awkward at times.

For example, a few weeks ago, I took Amy to a congregation in Pleasant Hill to see a friend's, and fellow crew member's, missionary farewell speach. While there we ran into Tina. It was rather awkward as I tried to pay attention to Amy yet Tina and I tried to catch up on where our lives had gone in the last year or so.

Another example could be last Saturday. Amy and I went up to Temple Hill to help build a set for a coming Christmas program. After about 4 hours there KNJ-P showed up. Even though several people in the upper crew management knew she was coming - no one had told me. I went through 2 years of therapy over this girl. So I was quite shocked over this girl's attendance. We haven't spoken face to face in 5 years. It was a very tramatic experience as at one time I tried to stay close to Amy and yet was kind of curious about the last 5 years or so. One of the things that always interested me about KNJ-P was her ability to teach me things. On Saturday she taught me a few painting and theatre techniques that I had never learned before. It was interesting, while at the same time a horrifying experience. I have long held the belief that my life is a failure because of not being able to marry this girl. She is now married and 4 months along with her first child. She's living the dream I had for us, but without me. As i spent Saturday comparing our lives and where the two of us had ended up, Amy would later say she felt like she was losing me. It was a very awkward situation for Amy and I and for our relationship. I doubt KNJ-P even caught wind of it.

Tomorrow, my best friend Nina flies into to CA. Nina is 4 weeks into a new relationship with a boy in Oregon and Today marks my 2 month anniversary with Amy. Nina's trp was planned prior to either of those events happening. To say that all four of us are a little worried about this weekend would be an understatement. Amy has had to explain to her family that I would not be joining them for the Holiday because I was goingto be with my ex-girlfriend. Nina has had to explain to her new boyfriend that she can't spend Turkey Day with him due to her being in another state. There is a lot of confussion and concern and some awkward feelings.

To add to that already awkward situation, Nina and I will be spending the holiday with my Dad and his girlfriend NAN. Nina has never met either of these people. She has communicated with my father through e-mail but that is it. NAN and Dad are both computer people. Nina and I are both "work with people with issues" people.

After Nina heads home (maybe or maybe not meeting Amy), I will take Amy on another adventure into ex-girlfriend land. On Saturday December 5, Amy and I are going to go volunteer at a Power Wheelchair Soccer tournament and provide service (I'm reffing, Amy's keeping score). At that tournament will be Jenny, my ex-girlfriend from last year. We dated for several months and were official for a little less than 24 hours. She's still pretty bitter about the 24 hour relationship. She will have to interact with both Amy and I. I'm willing to bet that will be rather awkward as well.

Lastly, on December 15th, Melinda comes home from her mission. Because of the depression I have been going through, I haven't been able to write to her for several months (when you write missionaries you are supposed to sound uplifting. Being depressed and having self destructive tendencies - not all that uplifting). She knows nothing about Amy. (I hope to get a letter off this week to her updating her on my life.) But even if she does find out about Amy - I doubt that will change the strong friendship we share. It will however effect Melinda's plans to have my last name by mid next year. I'm pretty sure December 16 is going to be an awkward conversation day.

But after what I've experienced so far...it will just be par for the the course. 6 weeks of rather awkward situations.


  1. Oh Sean, it sounds like you're going through so much emotional junk right now! I'm sure it will all end up being a good learning experience, but so difficult to go through now...

  2. Well now to add some drama and relive some stress...Nina is now single for her trip, respects Sean and Amy too much to cause problems and is more than willing to do whatever it takes to make Amy, her family, and Sean comfortable. So since we are all adults here...no worries:)