Sunday, March 8, 2009

the 13 year-old speaks

The 13 year-old talks a lot.

13 - Is that your loose tooth? (pointing to the tooth in his mouth)
7 - Yup. It just keeps wiggling. It hurts to wiggle though.
13 - Has it come out yet?
9 year-old - Yup and we pushed it back in.

13 - I wonder if Bunnies have pornography.
me - Yup - it's called the Discovery Channel.
13 - What is so special about this cake?
me - It will turn your poo green.
13 - but it is already green.
me - Yes but this will be green like Kermit. Basically you'll be pooing out Kermit.

(two days later while we have guests over)
me - Does anyone want this last piece of cake?
13 - No it turned my poo really green.
me - {13 year-old} Why are you looking at your poo?
13 - I wanted to see what Kermit looked like.

(After blowing air through an envelope and making a high pitched squeal)

13 - One time I was in the bedroom and I had to fart but I was trying to hold it in so I squeezed my butt cheeks. It came out anyway and it went up my butt crack and squealed just like that. Before I could undo my cheeks I did it again and it tickled my back and made a high pitched squeal again.

(While talking about people that move out when they are 17)

me - I think Catherine will move out on June 18th but won't turn 18 until October. She can't stand her step-mother.
13 - How old is she now?

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