Thursday, March 12, 2009


I was recently reviewing Craigslist looking for a rototiller. I found one for $30 in Willis CA. I quickly went over to google maps and figured out the distance and was instantly excited. I really like to drive. I love being on an open road and just driving. While some people are all about the destination, I really enjoy the journey. But this drive wouldn't be complete without a co-pilot. Preferably a co-pilot of the female persuasion and my best friend.

There was a time in my life where I had such a co-pilot. She fit in my truck right next to me (I have a bench seat). and we went all over. We stopped when we wanted to and drove for the rest. We had picnics and went to stores and even libraries in little towns and communities in California, Idaho and Utah. It was really nice. And I miss it.
18 months is a really long time. It is enough time for one and even two people to change, gain focuss, find new perspectives. 10 months is actually just enough time to do that. Another 8 months is there to reconcile what happened in 10 months. Those 18 months can be a little challenging when a conversation can take 2 - 4 weeks to happen. And if those conversations are sensitive...sometimes they don't even occur.
There is potential for co-pilots, but not the same co-pilots as I had before. And I'm not sure how to reconcile that in my head. Do I take on the potential co-pilots even thoughI know it won't be the same - or do I just drive it alone for now and hope that some day I will have a best friend again? One that likes the drive, the journey, and the ride next to me. One that can accept my fears, my struggles and my joys. One that can be patient with me if I sometimes get lost or if I jump in reverse from time to time. One that can both figuratively and literally help me fix my broken tires. I wonder if there are co-pilots like that out there still.
I may not get the rototiller this weekend, but I look forward to a drive anyway.

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