Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Trying to get dating again

After seeing my father have a successful experience, I recently adventured onto a dating site called Plenty of Fish. I’m not a big fan of dating sites but I’m not having a whole lot of other successes. When KNJ-P left 5 years ago, I took the advice of several people and strived to be happy by myself. I developed hobbies that I could do by myself (photography, gardening & hiking – though my father would prefer I didn’t do that last one by my self). Now that I’m pretty happy being independent, suddenly meeting girls has come to a collective stand still – and so it is into the world of internet dating I proceed.

Internet dating is weird. I’m not sure I fully understand it. For instance, there was a girl who was e-mailing me constantly for about three days with all sorts of questions about me and insights into her and then she was gone…never to be heard from again. Then there was a girl who told me she liked this picture of me with a dog. I sent her to this picture of the dog that has better lighting because she seemed really interesting in the dog. Haven’t heard from her since. One girl told me ten minutes from her house was too far even though I was really cute.

Another weird thing is the intro. I’m never quite sure how to start a conversation. For example, I always feel weird suggesting that in their posed and photo shopped picture they look hot when they probably look totally different in person. I don’t want them to think I’m only interested in the pictured (albeit photoshopped) girl. As a former English major, I try to read each profile carefully to find a way to start a conversation, but some girls rely so heavily on their photo shopped image that they don’t even really include a profile paragraph and so you are stuck trying to figure out if there is something to them beyond looking hot on the internet. Also, how do you come off charming, none stalkerish, goal orientated, laid back, intelligent, interested and everything they described in their “About my date” section?
As a final nail in my coffin I’m sure there is a set of rules that no one has told me. How long do you talk through the world wide web before you meet in person and talk? Me personally, I’d rather just get to the date. Talking through a computer is mind blowingly boring and time consuming. I miss the days in my life where I could meet a girl in the Galley at BYUI, have a bite to eat with her, ask her out to a hike, drive (dorm girls without cars always loved going for drives), or even another meal. That’s how Sara and I happened. We met in the galley. I ask her out. She said sure. We went to a Jazz thing, then two other dates and then on a bowling date and then we were “dating.” There was no lengthy interview process through e-mail and instant message. How long do you have to do the e-mail thing when it comes to Internet dating?

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