My missionary expertise

Before I get too far, I'd like to say that my friends are predictable. I wrote a somewhat romantic story yesterday. Gu says "Ah, how cute." John goes "Oh that. Yeah I read it. So what do you think about those Red Socks." Yup - amazing friends.

I'm on my way to FHE tonight when my cellphone rings. It's my dad. He's at Costco and he is buying items for my cousin who is serving a mission in CA. The reason my dad is calling is because he wants more suggestions on what to buy my cousin for a care package. Earlier in the day I had sent my father a list, but unfortunately, the items on the list weighed less than 34 pounds. In able to make the box "worthwhile" he figures it needs to weigh around 34 pounds, unless he is sending it to me on my mission. I'll explain that later.

Anyway, as my father is patrolling the isles at Costco he is asking me "So do you thing Elder C would like this _____?" (fill in the blank with everything from peanut butter to jelly bellys to beef jerky to cup a noodle soup.) After reminding my father several times that Elder C and I aren't as tight as I'd like to be, I finally came up with the perfect explanation on what to buy.

"When sending a missionary a care package it is best to treat it as a sampler platter at Applebees. Give him (or her) a little bit of everything. When he (or she) write back and says thank you, they will tell you, 'Thanks for the ___.' If they mention something specific, send more with the next care package. If they don't say thank you for something, don't ever send it again and pretend that you never sent it in the first place."

My father pauses in the conversation and says, "You know Sean - that's a great idea. I think I know all I need to know. Thanks Sean and have fun at FHE."

I haven't served a mission in 8 years but I'm glad I know that I still have the wisdom. Go me.

***
On a different note, when I arrived in Tucson on my mission, the previous elders weren't very cleanly. The toilet in particular wasn't very clean. We (My companion and I) were told 4 weeks into my mission that we would be having clean checks in two weeks. I donned gloves and a safety mask and went to it. I scrubbed and I scrubbed but to no avail. Later that preparation day I wrote a letter to my mother about my toilet experience and closed the letter by saying "We just pray that we will be good enough for inspection." I meant this as, we "hope and pray." My mother thought that what I actually meant was that Elder Hall and I got together, kneeled before the toilet and prayed for it.

My mother feared that this wouldn't be good enough, so she forced my father to drive her to Wal-Mart where she purchased various cleaning supplies and chemicals. She then typed up directions on how to use the supplies. Lastly she had my father print off picture instructions off the internet. She packaged this all up and mailed it off to me. My first care package from my mother in the mission field was a box full of toilet cleaning supplies. My companion of course shared this with other elders in the mission and I was well known through my mission as the missionary with the toilet cleaning box.

The box my father and I are sending to Elder C has not one single cleaning supply in it except maybe some hand soap.