Adventures in KY

In my life time I have had the opportunity to be in 8 car crashes. In just my last three weeks in high school I was privledged to be in three in three weeks. (Rear ended, Side swiped, rear ended). Of the 8 car accidents, I've never been at fault. Dumb luck considering the way I drive.

Because of those car accidents, I have recieved substantial chiropractic care. I paid for this in two ways. One was with private insurance, the other was by using money recieved in a settlement. When I got too old to have my parents insurance and I no longer had settlement money to pay for chiropractic, I was forced to find other ways to have comfort.

One of those ways was to get a massage twice a month. This worked the soft tissue in my neck and shoulders and eased out the pain. The price of 30 - 60 minute massages was a whole lot less than the cost of chiropractic care.

Another way was to get girlfriends or other friends to give me free massages (to her credit, KNJ was probably the best amateur massage person I had with JPF coming in a close second). However, in able to be successful at this, you need massage oil. So I bought some about 5 years ago, and then again 4 years ago. The bottle from 5 years ago got punctured in the move from Beaverton Oregon to Rexburg in April 2005. The other bottle ran out last month from personal massages.

I'm trying to save money for my trip to CA, so I'm limiting my self to one massage a month until I can return to the perfect arms of Kim. So I've been trying to give my self massages when I need them. Well, on Tuesday my neck and shoulders became enflamed and tylonel just wouldn't do the trick. So I went to all three "major" stores in Rexburg. Broulims and Albertson's couldn't help me. They don't sell massage oils. Wal Mart was my last choice. They don't seel massage oils either, but they do sell KY lubercant and body massage oil. This type of oil is not used for the exact purposes I intended, but it will warm away the pain, and I can use it to massage my neck until I can get down to Idaho Falls Mall and get real massage oil.

Now I would like you to visualize this. I haven't had sex in about 9 years. I'm standing in the lubericant isle at Wal-mart trying to figure out which product of KY would feel the best on my neck. KY doesn't come with directions but it does come with 6 different types of lubericant. Have you ever stood in a Wal-mart looking at KY lubericant trying to figure out which one goes on your neck? Add to your imagination being in Rexburg and I'm not wearing a wedding ring. It was a little uncomfortable, but man does it feel good on my neck. I went with this one.